Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

This entry is part 19 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

365 Day Challenge!

365 day challenge?

What was I thinking?

I mean, shit, that is a seriously long term commitment.

Think about it — what do you do (regularly) 365 days in a row? Wake up, breath, and eat are the only three things I can think of.

 

Things We SHOULD/HAVE To  Do

There are plenty of things we SHOULD do every single day: Shower, brush our teeth, exercise, etc.. Let’s face it though, I bet if you are being honest with yourself you’ve missed one or two of those on one or more occasion.

There are things we HAVE to do that are dictated by circumstance. For instance, once you’ve had a baby you HAVE to be a parent every day. Some people even find ways out of that though.

 

Waking Up To The Reality Of A 365 Day Challenge

What brings this up? I woke up this morning and my first thought was ‘holy shit! I promised myself I would write a new blog post for this series 365 days in a row’.

Every day!

For 1 year!!

 

Simple Premise

Sure, the premise is simple enough: 20 minutes at most with no research and a very little editing. Here’s what I forgot though — I have a lot of other shit to do! I work a full-time job, am a full-time single father, have severe depression issues (a full-time management job in and of itself), and I hope to make something out of this blog (which means producing other, more polished, content).

 

Hard Truth

Here’s the truth though; I can either do it, or I can’t and I am either committed, or I am not. All of this bitch-fest aside, I am extremely blessed. The resources to deal with all of the above are within my reach and I will either make use of them or I will not — time will tell…

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 21

This entry is part 14 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

A New Novel?

I spent the past week working day and night on a new novel inspired by the Tiny Tommy story. Then I spent the last eight minutes deleting everything I’d come up with thus far.

It is unfortunate, but it had to be done. Sometimes the story gets away from you. When that happens there are two choices; you can try to wrangle it in or kill it. I chose the latter in this case because it was too far gone.

 

Blessing and The Curse

In a way that is the blessing and the curse of the clarity that I have gained over the years. I spend a lot less time working on lost causes, but a little more time lamenting the time put into those causes.

It needs to be done though. Life is to short to agonize over decisions. As I said before I am certain that everything will work out the way it needs to in the end. Continuously moving forward is the best way to make use of that knowledge.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

I wish I could write a love story, or a drama, or something that made people laugh. My failure to do so is not from lack of trying. I’ve begun the process on several occasions, only to find the story turning to the dark side shortly after beginning.

Darkness is all I see when I look into my mind for a story to tell. When I have a point that I am trying to make it is always easiest to filter it through a terrible lens. I suppose its the same thing with comedians.

I have tried, so very hard, to give up the terrible tales that I tell. I even wrote a post about it called From Horror To Hope. I was being honest then, and I’m being honest now — I was a fool to think I could give it up and, even more importantly, that I SHOULD give it up.

The point of giving up horror was to write for God. The narrative that’s been constructed for us is that there is a certain and particular way to go about that. That narrative is wrong. A thing does not need to have the words ‘God’ or ‘spiritual’ scrawled upon it to be of a Godly or spiritual nature. It is the intent of the thing decides its place in the universe, not the thing itself.

Everything I write — even the darkest of tales — is an attempt at finding the light in the darkness. Sometimes it is so faint you can barely see it, but trust me, it’s there.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 11

This entry is part 9 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

 

I cannot, for the life of me, think of anything to write this evening. I have looked around my room, thought back through my day, watched a good movie (which usually sparks some kind of creative thought), and still nothing.

It is a crippling feeling for a writer. The closest thing I can think to equate it to in the real world is the end of a relationship. You know that moment when you realize it is over? All these different feelings come rushing at you and you have no idea what to do with them. You just kind of sit there, numb, and try to ride out the storm. There are moments where you that you will be alone for the rest of your life, or that you will never find another person as good as that one.

Of course, all that bullshit fades after awhile. New relationships begin, and ideas start to flow again. It doesn’t stop those initial moments from crushing your spirit for a bit though. In the interim all you can do is have a little faith.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 26

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

This entry is part 1 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

 

365 Days & A Promise

The following series will (eventually) consist of 365 posts written on consecutive days. It is a challenge (and a promise) I made to myself and I intend to keep it.

Why? (Kicking & Screaming)

I have been hiding from my dreams my entire life. I can write, though I have consistently found a reason to stop myself from doing so. I came up with every excuse in the book not to pursue it as anything more than a hobby.

Finally, a couple of years ago, I decided to take the time to publish (you can find my Amazon Author page by clicking here)some things. I always loved horror and existential fiction, so that is where I started. Some of it was good, but there was no consistency to it, and I had begun a spiritual journey that was leading me away from the shock and awe aspect of horror. I struggled with what direction to take and eventually, it just faded into the background of my everyday life.

Now I have decided to write again. I am Thomas Paine, nor do I ever expect to compose the next great American novel. I simply want to write, unrestricted, about the journey I am on. This exercise is meant to drag myself by the hair—kicking and screaming if need be—out of the carefully constructed cave of programmatic bullshit I’ve been hiding in.

If I’m Being Honest

One post every day. No research, no forethought, no rewrites, no plan except to spend 20 minutes being honest every day and putting it out there. Nothing is off-limits: rants, raves, poems, story excerpts, God, politics — Nothing. A good portion of it will be shit, some of it will be good, but all of it will be meaningful.

If you choose to continue on this journey with me I appreciate it. Your time is extremely valuable so If you do not, I understand. Either way, thank you for sharing your time with me for these brief moments.

Dave

The Fear Of God

The Fear Of God

The Fear Of God — With The Eyes Of A Child

 

One of the harder concepts for me to come to grips with has always been the ‘fear of God’. The arrogance of my youth created anger and rejection in my heart whenever I was told that I should do so. I suppose it’s a natural reaction as a young person to believe (or to want to believe) that there is nothing to fear from your creator. It is a confusing message as well when an adult tells you that God loves you, but you should fear him.

Whether intentional or not there is a lack of clarification on these two, seemingly, opposite attributes of God. How and why would the entity that created us and loves us expect us to fear it?

Wrong Kind Of Fear?

 

From birth, we are conditioned to believe that fear is a negative emotion. We are taught to fear things that are bad for us. First, we fear the boogyman and the hot stove. Then we fear the bully in the schoolyard and the stranger on the street. When we are grown we fear the IRS and the next election. It is no wonder that someone saying that we should fear God illicit’s a negative response? That is all we know and there is rarely any further explanation.

When there is clarification it is usually structured as a form of control—fear the punishment for doing the wrong thing. This lack of clarification and abuse of messaging leads to the wrong kind of fear.

Right Kind Of Fear?

 

So what is the right kind of fear?

Imagine you are standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon. Now take a moment to think about what really lies before you—A true wonder of the world we live in. Think about the sheer size of the space, and the fact that the same space was once filled with the dense earth you are currently standing on. Think about the forces that joined together to create the wonder you are looking at—erosion, pressure, wind, water—and the time it took to make it all happen.

Now step right up to the edge and look down. That feeling you have as you gaze into the abyss—that it could swallow you whole and no one would ever know—is the right kind of fear. It is self-preservation, awareness of scale, and awe of immensity all wrapped up in one breathtaking moment. You do not fear it because it means you harm. You fear it because you could be harmed by it if you are not mindful of each step you take. There are a million ways to die inside of it because the physical danger is everywhere. There are also a million ways to live because the spiritual pleasures are just as plentiful.

All of these physical dangers and spiritual pleasures exist together in this space with no intent (either for good or for ill) towards you. They just are. It is up to you to guard yourself against what could hurt you and seek out what could help.

In other words, the right kind of fear is a positive force to guide you. It protects you from the pitfalls and the predators. It steadies your step. It keeps you safely on the path in an environment that is beyond your human capacity to either understand or control.

The Fear Of God — Understanding & Acceptance

 

Understanding this concept (in this way) was the key to freeing my heart. It allowed me to let go of my anger at the notion itself. My fear of God guides me daily. It strengthens my resolve whenever life starts to beat me down. I fear nothing but God. Everything else is either a negative to be avoided or a positive to be embraced.

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