Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

This entry is part 29 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

Dead Inside

There have been times in my life that I have considered myself to be dead inside. I have been to funerals of loved ones that elicited the same emotional reaction as classes I attended in college—it wasn’t bad or good…just was.

There have also been times when the slightest emotional stimulus ripped me open wide. I could be watching a tender moment in a sitcom and suddenly find my face soaked with tears.

Results of my Mania?

I assume these two opposites to be results of my mania. The strange thing is that when I look back at these examples, and my state of mind at the time, I recall being happy overall in both instances. When I look back at times that my emotional reactions were ‘appropriate’ those moments all seem to be framed in times of great sadness. Does that mean that my emotional baseline—the conditions under which I react the most socially ‘appropriate’—is sadness? That’s a sad thought.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 34

This entry is part 27 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page  

Change, and the Terror It Creates

There was a time in my life (not so long ago) that the thought of changing jobs again terrified me. It also made me angry at the fact that life had put me in a position that made another change necessary. If you’ve read any of the previous posts in this series, however, you know that a good deal of my way of thinking has changed over the last couple of years. That process has all but irradicated my fears with regards to change, as well as my expectations regarding what I do (and do not), deserve in this life.  

Thoughts, Actions, and Decisions

Change excites instead of terrifying me now. I dictate my position in life with my thoughts, actions, and decisions. Everything I have (or do not have) was gained (or lost) as a direct result of the aforementioned thoughts, actions, and decisions. Also, I no longer base my happiness on those programmed notions that I spent a lifetime forming concerning how life should be. My happiness is no longer dictated by the expected ‘norm’ — my ‘norm’ is dictated by my expected happiness.
Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 32

This entry is part 25 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page  

Writing Every Day

I have been writing every day now for 32 days. Believe me when I tell you that is a record for me. In fact, it is the most consistent I have been with any individual thing (other than work) my entire life. If you have read all of these then you know that some of the writing has been good, and some of it has been bad. Truthfully it does not matter to me either way because the goal here was consistency and — on that count at least — so far, so good.  

What Professional Writers Recommend

The benefits are exactly what every writer who has recommended said they would be. I am one of those thick-headed individuals that need to experience something for myself before I will believe it though, and now I do. It used to take me forever to start a writing project. I would think about, rethink it, and think about it some more. Now I just start it. I’ve begun three stories in the last two weeks. One of them is a novel that is 75% outlined already! Ideas are flowing night and day — it’s like every fiber of my being is tuned to the same frequency. I would say that I wish I had set down this path sooner, but I recognize the folly in that statement. I was not ready, and it was not time. Now I am, now it is, and now I will.  
Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 31

This entry is part 24 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page  

My Failure As A Writer

I wish I could write a love story, or a drama, or something that made people laugh. My failure to do so is not from lack of trying. I’ve begun the process on several occasions, only to find the story turning to the dark side shortly after beginning.  

Darkness Is All I See

Darkness is all I see when I look into my mind for a story to tell. When I have a point that I am trying to make it is always easiest to filter it through a terrible lens. I suppose its the same thing with comedians. I have tried, so very hard, to give up the terrible tales that I tell. I even wrote a post about it called From Horror To Hope. I was being honest then, and I’m being honest now — I was a fool to think I could give it up and, even more importantly, that I SHOULD give it up.  

Giving Up Horror?

The point of giving up horror was to write for God. The narrative that’s been constructed for us is that there is a certain and particular way to go about that. That narrative is wrong. A thing does not need to have the words ‘God’ or ‘spiritual’ scrawled upon it to be of a Godly or spiritual nature. It is the intent of the thing that decides its place in the universe, not the thing itself. Everything I write — even the darkest of tales — is an attempt at finding the light in the darkness. Sometimes it is so faint you can barely see it, but trust me, it’s there.
Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 36

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 30

This entry is part 23 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

Spirituality, At Its Purest…

Spirituality, at it’s purest, is actively working towards being a better person. I see people getting this wrong all the time. Some are smug, self-righteous little people that would rather tear someone else down than building ANYTHING up. Others are angry at God and disdain anything and everything that looks like it might make them think beyond their own material existence. Still, others are just sad and confused; weighted down by the burdens they carry and too tired to lift themselves up.

 

Everyone Walks Their Own Spiritual Path

Everyone walks their own spiritual path. This is true whether we acknowledge it or not. We can stomp our feet, wring our hands, and scream to the high heavens that it’s not true, but it is. And even though every individual must walk their own path, every path eventually presents the same set of guidelines that must be followed in order to walk any further; they are that we must flick all those chips from our shoulder, kill the materialistic programming that we’ve accumulated (since birth), annihilate our prejudice’s, and get to fucking work.

 

Spirituality Is Work

That’s right — work. Work (and by extension the works we do) are the key to it all. You can WANT to be a better person, THINK about ways to be a better person, HOPE for a chance to be a better person — all of that equals exactly jack shit if you do not actively, emphatically, consistently, and constantly WORK towards becoming a better person.

 

The Good News

Here’s the good news; ask and ye shall receive! Believe me when I tell you that is absolutely the truth. If you take a moment and ask God (the universe, the All, the sun; however you internally identify with existence as a whole) to show you ways to be better you will be presented with more opportunities than you can handle before you lay your head down that evening. The simple trick is learning to recognize, accept, and then act.

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