Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 35

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 35

This entry is part 28 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page  

Instant Karma

And now, instant Karma… We had a family party for my niece yesterday. My daughter decided (because she’s 15 and this is what she does) that she wanted to leave early and go to the boardwalk with her friends. So we go to the party for an hour and then the plan is to take them to the boardwalk then return to the party.  

Traffic In Point Pleasant, NJ

As we are driving I realize that the traffic is going to be a nightmare and I start to get annoyed. We don’t get caught with the ridge going up but the traffic through town is stop and go. I tell the girls that I’m going to drop them off at the end of the long parking lot because I don’t want to drive alway up to the beach and deal with more traffic. My daughter argues the point a little (because she’s lazy) but then accepts it when she realizes I’m annoyed. We get to the parking lot entrance, they get out, and I make a left to head towards the rear exit. I can already taste the first beer and burger!  

Laughing Emoji’s

I make it about ten feet and stop. There’s a line of cars vying for a spot that’s why opened up. Two ladies are standing in the spot not letting anyone in. They are holding it for their friend further back in the line. The lady in the car right by the spot finally has enough and gets out of the car to confront them. An argument ensues, A fifteen-minute trip turns into an hour, I get my instant karma, and my daughter sends me three laughing emojis when I text her the story.
Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 35

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 8

This entry is part 6 of 32 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

I struggle with social anxiety daily. Some days are better than others, but it always there—right below the surface of my forced smile—struggling to strangle me.

It has been there my entire life. It has cost me friendships, stopped me from meeting nice girls, caused me to leave (or avoid) family functions, and played a major role in every social interaction I have ever had.

I took it all in stride and never talked about it with anyone. When I was younger it didn’t have a name and as I got older the sheer embarrassment kept me from speaking about it.

Now it is a problem though. Now I have a fifteen-year-old daughter (who has issues of her own) that I am desperately trying to connect with. That situation is hard in the best of circumstances but the anxiety interferes with how close I can be to her. She always thinks I am angry but I am not. She thinks I don’t find her funny because she tells a joke or acts playful and the fucking anxiety has me focused on a million things other than the moment I am sharing with her. I try to think of ways to spend time with her and the fear of being out in the world always forces me to the old standby—”want to watch a movie sweetie?”

It is not right. It is not okay. It is crippling and I need to find a way to fix it—for her.

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