Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

This entry is part 12 of 12 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

I wish I could write a love story, or a drama, or something that made people laugh. My failure to do so is not from lack of trying. I’ve begun the process on several occasions, only to find the story turning to the dark side shortly after beginning.

Darkness is all I see when I look into my mind for a story to tell. When I have a point that I am trying to make it is always easiest to filter it through a terrible lens. I suppose its the same thing with comedians.

I have tried, so very hard, to give up the terrible tales that I tell. I even wrote a post about it called From Horror To Hope. I was being honest then, and I’m being honest now — I was a fool to think I could give it up and, even more importantly, that I SHOULD give it up.

The point of giving up horror was to write for God. The narrative that’s been constructed for us is that there is a certain and particular way to go about that. That narrative is wrong. A thing does not need to have the words ‘God’ or ‘spiritual’ scrawled upon it to be of a Godly or spiritual nature. It is the intent of the thing decides its place in the universe, not the thing itself.

Everything I write — even the darkest of tales — is an attempt at finding the light in the darkness. Sometimes it is so faint you can barely see it, but trust me, it’s there.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 11

This entry is part 11 of 12 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

 

I cannot, for the life of me, think of anything to write this evening. I have looked around my room, thought back through my day, watched a good movie (which usually sparks some kind of creative thought), and still nothing.

It is a crippling feeling for a writer. The closest thing I can think to equate it to in the real world is the end of a relationship. You know that moment when you realize it is over? All these different feelings come rushing at you and you have no idea what to do with them. You just kind of sit there, numb, and try to ride out the storm. There are moments where you that you will be alone for the rest of your life, or that you will never find another person as good as that one.

Of course, all that bullshit fades after awhile. New relationships begin, and ideas start to flow again. It doesn’t stop those initial moments from crushing your spirit for a bit though. In the interim all you can do is have a little faith.

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 6

This entry is part 6 of 12 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

The words you are reading now are not the words I originally wrote down on this page. Those words (the originals) were here, but now they are gone.

There were two paragraphs of never before seen writing and now they are gone forever. You will never see them, and I can never tell you about them—I hit select-all and delete. I did that because they sucked and I wanted them to go away.

I am only telling you this because it got me thinking: I wonder how many words, thoughts, ideas, etc., get deleted out of existence every day. I just deleted two paragraphs that took time and thought to create. I did it because I didn’t like the way they looked on the page or sounded in my head, but maybe you would have.

I have had to teach myself to be ruthless when I am editing. It is the only way I can avoid the mountain/molehill problem I told you about yesterday. I rely very heavily on the notion that if the idea was good enough it will eventually resurface. And still, I wonder…

Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 12

Just Write Something Damnit — Day 4

This entry is part 4 of 12 in the series Just Write Something Damnit!

Author’s Note: If you have not read the first post in this series then all the rest will make no sense at all. Please click here to take a quick look at Just Write Something Damnit! — Day 1

Remington Standard Typewriter on desk with blank page

 

I have been staring at this screen off and on all day trying to think of what to write about. These posts are meant to be a simple challenge/exercise that keeps me writing and moving forward with this site. Most of the posts thus far have been written quickly and accomplished the goal. Today is different.

This site has been a labor of love for the last ten years or so. I have made it live and then taken it down more times than I can count. I can give you a million excuses as to why that has happened, but it all just boils down to this: I never accepted it for the labor of love that it was.

I always tried to force the material world upon it. The dream is to be a writer, but the point is to make money. At least that is how I saw it.

Things have changed recently though. I no longer care if I make money here. I no longer care if I make money at all. That is not to say I don’t need it—just that I do not care if I have it. That has made all the difference. When you stop thinking about the things you don’t have you stop not having the things you need.

So there you have it. I stared at the page off and on for well over five hours. Then I confronted the issue, let it go, and five minutes later the page has some paragraphs on it that damn near make sense. Maybe—if I am lucky—the words here are enough to make you ask ‘what in the actual fuck is he talking about?’. That, after all, is the point.

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